The Mistake I Made
Finding the right role for Steve has been trial and error. That’s because we share similar skill sets. Our specialties, however, are highly complementary. He’s a communication and relationship expert. I focus on pricing and business development.
In the beginning, I wore all the hats. Asking Steve to take over the tasks that I didn’t enjoy was my first mistake. He took them on because he wanted to be helpful, but he didn’t enjoy them either. That strategy didn’t work out.
Because I’m often on the road, we’ve swapped roles at home. He’s taken over most of the household responsibilities. That’s been a significant relief. (It wasn’t too difficult to give up.)
Not all husbands can work for their wives. But, if you’re the exceptional few, then the benefits of working together far outweigh the negatives.
- Trust. We all need a confidante. Even King Arthur had a roundtable. I’m comfortable being vulnerable with him.
- Input. We don’t always see things eye to eye. Therefore, I often run options by him before making a final decision.
- Feedback. Sometimes, I’m too close to the process. His input makes me aware of different aspects that I wouldn’t notice on my own.
- Fun. We enjoy working together. Traveling together is a bonus.
- Skill set. Since we share similar coaching skills, how do we differ? He now teaches communication, relationship and leadership skills to our coaching clients, especially for the couples in business together.
And, yes, sometimes we disagree on things, or my instructions are too vague.
Our role reversal has added a new dimension to our marriage. I’ve learned things about myself because of this change in responsibilities.
You’ll eventually experience some similar challenges, too.
- How clearly do you explain your expectations?
- Does your husband prefer detailed instructions?
- Are you utilizing his strengths, or is he simply filling a position?
- Do his mistakes become learning opportunities or arguments?
- Are you a control freak and stifling him?
Don’t expect your business partnership to fix your marital issues. Communication and trust are the #1 reasons for your husband to eventually call it quits and work somewhere else. Working together and living together can get messy.