How do I match a sales receipt and a refund receipt to one quickbooks banking transaction?

The key is to recreate what actually happened, in the order it happened, then you will have a match within your bank feed. Drill down into your sales and refund receipts in question and change the "Refund From" and "Deposit To" accounts to "Undeposited Funds". Then go to "Bank Deposits" and select only the transactions that total the amount that hit your bank account that you need to match. Make the deposit on the same day the deposit went into your bank feed, then you will have a match to add the transactions that make up the deposit for that day.