I need to talk to a HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there, @HoustonBrown.

To receive a call you'll need to choose the Get a call option in QuickBooks. Here's how:

1. Sign in to your QuickBooks Online account.
2. Go to the Help button.
3. Select Contact us.
4. In the What can we help you with? field, enter your concern.
5. Click Let's talk.
6. Choose Get a call. 

To make sure that an agent will assist you immediately, please see our support hours. You might want to post here in the Community about your concern. We can help you with your inquiries.

Also, you may consider reading helpful articles that can guide you in managing your books in QuickBooks Online: QBO help articles. From here, you'll also learn about setting up and connect apps, track employees' time, set up online payments, etc. 

Fill me in if you need further assistance in QuickBooks Online. I'm always around here to help. Have a good one.