I hear your sentiments, @nolanneal.
Let me make it up to you by making sure you can import your CSV files into QuickBooks Online (QBO).
Yes, you're right. As of now, QBO has a couple of formatting guidelines for seamless CSV import. I'd agree that eliminating some of them can make the process easy. To be better guided with this, please refer to this article: Format CSV files for QBO import.
Also, QBO imports data depending on the bank or third-party app you're using. Some may allow the downloading of data of more than 90 days or less.
When you're ready, you can begin importing your files into QBO. For the detailed instructions, please refer to Step 4 in this article: Manually upload transactions into QBO.
In case you encounter errors along the way, you can use this handy article for the fixes: Common errors for importing bank transactions using CSV.
Lastly, I recommend sending your feedback regarding this. This way, our product engineers can review and consider adding it to the future product release. For more QuickBooks updates, I encourage you to visit our QuickBooks Blog site.
Feel free to get back here in the Community if you have some follow-up questions about the import process. I'll be here to help.