Welcome to the Community, @somanybugs.

I'm here to help you get rid of the error message "Something's not right. We're unable to complete your request at the moment. Try again later" when opening QuickBooks Desktop. 

This is an unusual behavior of QuickBooks Desktop. I recommend running Verify/Rebuild tool to scan data issues and self-resolve them and allows your QuickBooks software to refresh the data. But before you start, make sure your Desktop is updated.

If the issue persists, you can download QuickBooks Tool Hub.

Here's how:

1. Close QuickBooks.
2. Download the most recent version (1.5.0.0) of the QuickBooks Tool Hub. Then, you can save the file somewhere you can easily find it (like your Downloads folder or your Windows desktop). Note: If you've installed Tool Hub before, you can find out which version you have. Select the Home tab. The version will be on the bottom.
3. Open the file you downloaded (QuickBooksToolHub.exe).
4. Follow the on-screen steps to install and agree to the terms and conditions.
5. After the installation, double-click the icon on your Windows desktop to open the tool hub.

Once done, proceed with running Quick fix my program. Here are the steps:

1. In the QuickBooks Tool Hub, select Program Problems.
2. Select Quick Fix my Program.
3. Start QuickBooks Desktop and open your data file.

For future reference, here is a top list of data damage errors in QuickBooks Desktop: Top data damage errors in QuickBooks Desktop.

Don't hesitate to comment below if you have questions about using QuickBooks Desktop. I'm always here to help. Have a great day.