I appreciate the details you've provided, gracefrenzel. Allow me to share some information about how variant works in QuickBooks.
A variant on items isn't currently offered in QuickBooks Payments. This feature accepts payments for the sale transactions and not per item.
You might want to consider using our QuickBooks Desktop version. You can manage and set up variants on items using this program.
You can use our trial links to explore and experiment with the features and options available in this product.
In the meantime, I'd encourage you to visit our QuickBooks Blog site for product updates as well as business tips from our accountant.
I'm just a post away should you need anything else. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.