Thanks for letting us know about your challenges in setting up your bank with QuickBooks, @sixteentoolong.
I'm here to help you bring your transactions into QuickBooks Online (QBO).
Before we proceed, may I ask if you encounter any error message?
If you've done the steps in manually updating your bank but encounter the same result, There's a possibility that the connection between your bank's website and QuickBooks was interrupted. I'd suggest getting in touch with your bank to verify if they have ongoing page maintenance that's causing the interruption.
You can follow these steps below to update your bank manually:
Go to Banking at the left pane.
Select Banking beside Bank Rules.
On the Banking page, select Update. QuickBooks Online updates all your connected bank and credit card accounts. If you only want to update some accounts, select the unwanted ones to exclude them from the update and select UpdateNow.