Does anyone ever get to TALK with a person?

Only if you're lucky.  But, that person most likely doesn't know how to help you, anyway, so it ends up being a COMPLETE waste of time.  

Good Evening, @Mary79. 

You can get in touch with our Customer Support Team by selecting to receive a call back within your QuickBooks Online account. Just follow the steps below. 

1. Go to the Help icon. 
2. Click the Contact Us button. 
3. Type in your question and press Let's Talk. 
4. Scroll down and choose to Get to callback. 

That's all there is to it!

Let me know how it goes. If you need anything else, just let me know. Wishing you the best! 

Hi there, JoHarris. I appreciate your feedback regarding the Help feature in QuickBooks Online.

I want to make sure your concerns are taken care of.

Can you please let me know what issues/concerns you have while doing a task in QBO? Any additional information will help me provide an accurate and timely solution to it.

Looking forward to your reply. The Community team is always here ready to help.