Mental wellness is a part of my business plan

I was a burned-out business owner. Here is how I changed that. Hi, my name is Kier Gaines, and I’m a Licensed Therapist, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Professional Speaker, Digital Creator, and Entrepreneur. I’ve owned and operated Gaines Creative Group for over 5 years, and in that time, I’ve seen the highest of highs alongside the lowest of lows. I became a business owner in the pandemic, and I know firsthand how this role can take a serious toll on your mental health. In that journey, I’ve been fortunate enough to stumble upon some mind-shifting gems that I’d love to share with you, but first you have to understand where I started from.

I didn’t grow up around any entrepreneurs and fell into the fantasy trap of believing that business ownership meant accumulating wads of cash and taking first-class flights. Like so many other dreamers, I bought into the idea that running your own business represented freedom, flexibility, fulfillment, and nothing else.

Fast forward many years, and the reality of business ownership has been far less romantic for me. Unpaid invoices, 13-hour workdays, and the never-ending feeling of not doing enough hit me like a ton of parking tickets. As it turns out, my experience with entrepreneurship fell horribly short of glamorous. Trying to do it all alone left me drained and doubting everything (which didn’t stop me from pushing through without changing anything). I felt a growing resentment towards the thing I thought that I wanted the most. 

The glutton for punishment inside of me gravitates toward learning things the hard way for some reason. The hard lesson here: Success doesn’t feel successful when it costs you your wellness. 

I want to share what I’ve learned (and continue to learn) that helps me build a business that works in harmony with my life, not fighting mightily against it.

Boundaries aren’t just for relationships

“Working harder means that I’m being more productive” was my longtime philosophy. Oh dear sweet boy, you could not be more wrong. Here’s how I reframed that unhealthy mindset and slid into more practical thinking.

My first move was setting boundaries in my business, the same way I advise clients to set them in their personal lives. My golden rule as a therapist is that clients don’t get 24/7 access to me just because my job is to help them heal. I set a firm cut-off time at 5 PM. No calls, no emails, no “just one quick question” texts. I don’t make concessions here unless things are critical and life-threatening.

The feeling of guilt that followed this boundary setting lingered for over a year. Even now, that voice in my head still whispers, “You should be doing more.” But I’ve learned that guilt is the narrator of untrue stories. The guilt monster is the arch-nemesis of peace, and they will always fight for your awareness.

With time, I grew into blocking off mental health time on my calendar like it was a paid appointment. For you, this could also look like taking a self-imposed business retreat. I treat this time with the same respect that I treat a paid gig, and here is what that looks like for me:

• A 45-minute phone-free walk

• A “do nothing” hour

• Breakfast with a friend

• A morning just to play video games

• Quiet afternoons with no real plans

This is true of small business owners, too. A 2024 QuickBooks study found that 74% say they don’t take time off because they feel anxious when they’re away from their business, can’t afford to take time off, or think their business simply can’t run without them.*whispers* But they’re not. They’re actually a form of maintenance. 

I don’t miss client deadlines that impact my income, so why would I miss the moments that impact my mental health? Sure, my wellness is less tangible, but it’s more important.

Community keeps you grounded

Being a one-man army sounds like the makings of a great story, but in real life, it’s hardly realistic. You can try it, but I wouldn’t advise it unless your goal is to be a ticking time bomb for burnout. I deployed a few strategies that help change the way I view help, ultimately making me more open to accepting it.

In my experience, running a business can be very isolating. Compound that isolation by ten when you’re constantly living in your head and not saying helpful things to yourself. For years, I believed that I had to figure it all out on my own, and that mindset kept me stuck in a frustrating rut. When I started being more intentional about connecting with other entrepreneurs, things really began to open up for me.

To be clear, opening up isn't predicated on strategy or networking, just raw and transparent conversations. In these communities of entrepreneurs, we would sometimes share tools. Other times, we’d swap stories about what didn’t work and vent about what felt heavy. 

I’m not a phone person (please don’t call me), but some of my most helpful check-ins have been short, random 10-minute calls in the middle of the day. These phone calls of real talk with someone who gets it have given me more clarity than an expensive course. Not all support requires mentorship, but support always requires being heard.

The lesson for me: You don’t need a boardroom of advisors. You just need a handful of people who understand the weight you’re carrying—and remind you to not carry it alone.

Burnout is a system failure

One of my favorite books is Atomic Habits by James Clear. In the book, he has a quote that resonated with me, saying, “You don’t rise to the level of your talent, you fall to the level of your systems.”

My burnout wasn’t just about me, it was about the failure of systems that were supposed to support me in execution. One of the reasons that vacations don’t fix burnout is that the root issue isn’t your energy or drive. It’s your support systems. 

Once I internalized that as fact, here’s how I changed my approach.

For the longest time, I thought that I had a discipline problem when I really had a structure problem. Sure, I was managing clients, editing content, handling invoices, tracking payments, and doing it all manually, but I was not doing it all effectively.

I thought that I was “hustling.” Nope, just drowning with tremendous flair..

Everything changed when I discovered QuickBooks. They have a wide range of features that can set burnt-out business owners up for success. Personally, I use QuickBooks to:

• Send my invoices automatically

• Track my expenses without rummaging through old emails

• Remind me about bills so I don’t miss payments

What seemed like a small shift gave me more space than I thought it would. I found breathing room not just in my schedule, but in my mind. After a short while, I noticed that I wasn’t playing catch-up anymore. I stopped ending every work week feeling like I failed at something, and I finally deployed a system of digital tools that supported my work. 

Burnout isn’t an indicator of weakness, it’s a signal that something needs to change.

You can’t boss alone

Success had operational costs, and the biggest line item was my mental well-being. I wasn’t certain that I wanted this dream anymore, to be honest. I found myself constantly struggling in a pool of lonely success. What I realized from that experience was this:

• There’s no reward for being “self-made” if it means you’re overworked. Your checks don’t deposit with a bonus attached.

• Being under-rested and constantly behind is something that no amount of hustle can fix.

• I had to learn to let my tools and systems carry some of the weight for me.

This is where QuickBooks continues to show up for me as one of the most helpful tools in my support system. It handles the backend work so I can focus on leadership, creativity, and being present in my actual life.

Hustle was the mark of greatness in my mind for so long. Now I believe that hustle culture deserves a beautiful burial.

Final thoughts

You don’t have to work 120 hours a week to prove you care about your business. You don’t have to wear every hat to call yourself a real entrepreneur. What you do need is structure that sustains you, boundaries that protect you, and people who remind you that you’re not in this alone.

Again, when your business has operational costs, your mental health shouldn’t be one of them. 

Get the support, use the tools. and take care of the human behind the business. That’s the piece that deserves your awareness the most!